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美版知乎:对父母而言,女儿好还是儿子好

Which is better for parents - a daughter or a son

对父母而言,女儿好还是儿子好?

 以下是Quora读者的评论:

Elena Ledoux, Founder at MommyGO (2017-present)

Since we already had a son, my husband and I really wanted to have a baby girl. We had a name for her - Siena (after a beautiful Italian city). After we got pregnant, I went out and bought the cutest little outfits - tiniest dresses with ruffles, microscopic shoes with bows... We thought of all the activities we could have with her. An early ultrasound confirmed it was a girl. We were elated.

The next ultrasound, the technician said: “Uh, oh. It’s definitely not a girl.” Siena grew a penis. Man, I had to return all those cute outfits now! We ended up having a baby boy. With his sharp little chin, chocolate-chip eyes, and pony forehead, he is perfection. He gave us more joy that we could’ve ever imagined possible. Even so, once in a while we would joke about how he was supposed to be Siena. Or I would put tiny bows in his hair for laughs. (Honestly I did it also to my other son, my husband, and to our cat).

One day when he was three, our little boy gave me a hug. Then looked me in the eyes and asked: “Mommy, do you still love me even though I’m not a girl?” I almost broke down crying. Since then I don’t ever mention Siena, even in jest. What is better to have, a son or daughter? It’s better to have a child who loves you.

因为我们已经有了一个儿子了,我和我的丈夫非常想要一个女孩。我们为她准备好了一个名字—锡耶纳(一个美丽的意大利城市)。我们怀孕后,我买了最可爱的小衣服—带褶边的小裙子,带蝴蝶结的小鞋子……我们想象了可以和她一起做的所有事。孕早期超声波检查证实是个女孩。我们心花怒放。

第二次超声波检查时,技术员说:“哦,哦。肯定不是女孩。“锡耶纳长出了阴茎。天啊,我现在得把那些可爱的衣服都退回去!最后我们又生了一个男孩。他有着尖尖的小下巴,巧克力色的眼睛和小马般的额头,他很完美。他给我们带来了我们从未想象过的快乐。即便如此,有时我们还是会开玩笑说他应该是锡耶纳。或者我会在他的头发上系上小蝴蝶结,逗他开心。(说实话,我也这样对我的另一个儿子,我的丈夫还有我们的猫)。

三岁的某一天,我们的小男孩拥抱了我。然后看着我的眼睛问:“妈妈,即使我不是女孩,你还爱我吗?”我差点哭出来。从那以后,我再也没有提起过锡耶纳,即使是开玩笑。儿子或女儿,哪个更好?都不如一个爱你的孩子好。

 

Gordon Miller, Entrepreneur and Investor

I think that depends on who answers.

I know that my wife and I have said many times that raising boys has been far easier than raising girls from what we hear from our friends that have girls. Regardless of who you ask, there is no such thing as “better”. There is only “easier” or “harder”.

I think the most difficult relationship is over “mother-daughter”. I know that my wife has great relationship with our boys and they are very protective of her if she gets harassed in public. It is nice to know that all 3 boys are well trained in martial arts and how to fire a weapon and can protect and defend each other as needed.

I think fathers always want to have a daughter to walk down the aisle one day and to help be that good example that shapes the way they will hope to be treated one day by their husbands. It is enough for me to teach our boys how to be men and how to behave as gentlemen.

我想这取决于谁来回答。

我知道妻子和我曾多次说过,养男孩比养女孩容易得多,这是我们从生了女孩的朋友那里听到的。不管你问谁,都没有“哪个更好”这回事。只有“容易”或者“难”。

我认为最困难的关系是“母女关系”。我知道我的妻子和我们的儿子关系很好,如果她在公共场合受到骚扰,他们会非常保护她。

我认为父亲们总希望有一天能陪伴女儿步入婚姻的殿堂,成为她们心目中丈夫的榜样。我只要教我们的孩子们如何做人,如何做绅士就够了。

 

Amanda Ferguson McCulloch, Painter College Educated in Science (2012-present)

I have only raised sons of my own… but when I was 14 my niece was born, and spent every night in my room. I was a virgin teen Mom, lol. It was my brothers kid. He was a kid. He worked 3rd shift. My mom managed LJS, and was there all of the time. So, I took care of the baby. It was sometimes, not fair, but my mom had passed, and she lived with me, and my two son's when she graduated high school. Her mom, unavailable for the most part. My niece is 27 now, has her own child, and just felt it necessary to be addicted like her mom. She won't face me. I think she Knows I'll be disappointed, and will not avoid the subject.

I raised my two boys also, but one passed away of congenital heart disease at age 6. The other will graduate next year. He is very anti- drug. I must say my boys were much more enjoyable. My kid isn't cheap, he costs a great deal of money, but he sure makes me proud. I would do anything to have been able to save Xanders life, Dr's error, someone dropped the ball, and it wasn't me. However, I have forgiven. I miss my son though, and I went nuts when I lost him. Boys, if you take the time to parent, discipline, and spoil, by far are more rewarding.

我只养育过自己的儿子……但我14岁的时候,我的侄女出生了,每天晚上都在我的房间里度过。我是个处女少女妈妈,哈哈。她是我哥哥的孩子。他自己还是个孩子。他上三班倒。我妈妈管理着LJS,一天到晚都呆在那里。所以,我来照顾这个孩子。有时世间事挺不公平的,但我妈妈去世了,她和我住在一起,在她高中毕业的时候,我有了两个儿子。她妈妈,大部分时间都没空。我的侄女现在27岁了,有了自己的孩子,她像她妈妈一样吸毒成瘾。她不愿面对我。我想她知道我会失望的,也不会回避这个话题。

我也养育了我的两个儿子,但其中一个在6岁时死于先天性心脏病。另一个明年毕业。他对毒品很反感。我得说我自己的孩子们要有趣得多。我的孩子并不小气,他花了很多钱,但他确实让我感到骄傲。我愿意做任何事来挽救Xanders的生命,那是医生的失误,不是我的原因。但我已经原谅了。我想念我的儿子,当我失去他时,我发疯了。对男孩子们而言,如果你花时间去教育、管教和宠爱他们,你会得到更多的回报。

 

Keith Cooper, Retired construction manager and software designer

For me it doesn't matter, girl or boy, they are lovely either way. Your daughter is yours for the rest of your life by your son will leave when he takes a wife.

I would hate to be without my daughter who really is my best mate, we see or talk to each other every day and go for a walk together a couple of times each week. I holiday with her and her family as well.

My son was my best buddy till he went to university and found his future wife immediately afterwards. He lives 250 miles away and isn't very good at personal calls over the phone. Nevermind our bond is still strong and we can be our own world together whenever we meet.

You don't really have much choice in the matter when you and your partner make a baby. And whatever it is, when it is born you will be inextricably bonded for ever.

对我来说无所谓,男孩或女孩都很可爱。你的女儿永远都是你的女儿,儿子娶妻后就渐行渐远了。

我讨厌没有我女儿的生活,她是我最好的伙伴,我们每天见面或交谈,每周一起散步几次。我和她以及她的家人一起度假。

我儿子上大学前一直是我最好的朋友,大学毕业后很快就找到了未来的妻子。他住在250英里外,不怎么打电话。不管怎样,我们的关系依然牢固,无论何时见面,我们都可以一起创造属于自己的世界。

当你和你的伴侣要孩子的时候,你真的没有太多的选择。不管孩子是什么性别,当他/她出生时,你们将永远密不可分。

 

Inder Advani, former Teaching at Kendriya Vidyalaya (1983-2017)

People prefer a boy over a girl in my country because boys carry the family name.

I lost my younger daughter ( 21 years old ) in a road accident in 2009. After loosing her I understand how much I miss her till today.

My husband was grief - stricken and my elder daughter and her husband were literally shattered.

After some time a stranger woman came to my house, she was very gentle and kind to me and before leaving she said, “ ma'am I can understand your sorrow but please never ever neglect your elder daughter. The younger one is gone but the one who is with you should not be deprived of your love.

In the same way I would like to say that whether it's a daughter or son both should be loved and cared. There is no comparison. Both are good and close to the parents' heart.

Today my husband and I have a great bonding with our daughter and her family.

在我们国家,人们喜欢男孩胜过女孩,因为男孩能传承家族的姓氏。

我在2009年的一次交通事故中失去了我21岁的小女儿。失去她之后,我才明白我是多么的想念她,直到今天依然无法释怀。

我的丈夫悲痛欲绝,我的大女儿和她的丈夫也心碎如麻。

过了一段时间,一个陌生的女人来到我家,她非常温柔善良,在离开之前,她说:“夫人,我能理解您的悲伤,但请永远不要忽视您的大女儿。您的小女儿已经走了,但您别夺走对现在陪在您身边的人的爱。”

同样,我想说,无论是女儿还是儿子,都应该得到爱和关心。没有可比性。两种性别都很好,也都很贴近父母的心。

今天,我和丈夫与我们的女儿和她的家人关系亲密。

 

Tom Stagliano, Two sons 27 & 28. Work with young athletes

Yes.

Parents, loving and caring parents,love their children no matter what.

Granted, I only had a brother and my wife had only four sisters, so we both approached children differently. I had been a youth, high school and college soccer referee for 20 years prior to the birth of our first son.

I knew how to deal with Older children, and my wife knew about female children.

I quickly learned that they must be Nurtured and aren’t born at age 13.

She quickly learned that two boys 15 months apart can be wonderful, but will most of the time be Velociraptors. They will be very playful and unintentionally rough. We still refer to them (from ages 2 to 10) as our little Velociraptors…..

And for those who never saw Jurassic Park: 

Boys and girls are Different. Vive La Difference!!!!

是的。

父母,有爱心、体帖的父母,无论孩子是男是女,都会深爱他们。

当然,我只有一个兄弟,我妻子只有四个姐妹,所以我们对待孩子的方式都不一样。在我们的第一个儿子出生之前,我当了20年的青年、高中和大学足球裁判。

我知道如何与大孩子相处,我的妻子也知道如何与女孩子相处。

我很快认识到,他们需要好好培养,不是一出生就13岁了。

她很快了解到,两个间隔15个月的男孩也许很不错,但大多数情况下也很顽劣。

对于那些从未看过《侏罗纪公园》的人来说:

男孩和女孩是不同的。区别万岁! ! ! !

 

Louise Kidner, Teacher at Queensland Department of Education, Training and Employment (2004-present)

You can’t compare that way. If you are in a society that still values one gender above the other than it might make a big difference but here in Australia it really doesn’t matter in my experience.

It’s not like that - they are both children with their own personalities and characters. Some stages a girl might be ‘easier to deal with and a boy a bit more difficult but other stages it switches and a girl can become a lot more difficult apparently. My 3 chidren are all under 5 so I have no idea what they will be like when they are older but I already know each has their own unique personalites which means each has moments that are more difficult to deal with than the others.

There doesn’t seem to be a real difference yet between my son and my daughters but he is only just 1 so he’s not walking around and talking yet. But the 2 girls are very different and at times the oldest is very difficult then the other girl is more difficult with certain things so it changes and I couldn’t say one is better than the other.

你不能那样比较。如果你所处的优德88手机中文版客服仍然把某种性别看得比另一种重要,这可能会有很大的不同,但在澳大利亚,根据我的经验,这真的不重要。

他们都是有自己个性和性格的孩子。在某些阶段,女孩可能比较容易对付,男孩可能比较难,但在某些阶段女孩会难管教一些。我的3个孩子都不到5岁,所以我不知道他们长大后会是什么样子,但我知道他们每个人都有独特的个性,这意味着每个人都有比其他人更难管教的时刻。

我儿子和我女儿之间似乎没有大的区别,但他才1岁。但这两个女孩很不一样,有时最大的女孩很难相处,而另一个女孩在某些事情上更难管教,所以我也不能说谁比谁更好。

 

Ashleigh Chapman, Stay at Home Mom of 2 (2010-present)

Originally Answered: Which is better, a son or daughter?

I have one of each. I don't think one is better than another. They're different, yes, but not better or worse. I get to do all the girly stuff with my daughter, like hair and dress up. She also loves firetrucks and aircraft. My son is the one who asks all kinds of questions and I love answering them. Once, in kindergarten, he asked about how water can be a solid liquid and gas. That line of questioning led to talking about air pressure and eventually oxygen deprivation and altitude sickness. So to answer the question, neither and both. It's their individual personalities I love, not their genders

最初的问题是:儿子和女儿,哪个更好?

我有一个儿子,也有一个女儿。我不认为哪个更好。他们不一样,但无关好坏。我可以和我女儿做所有女孩子该做的事情,比如设计发型、打扮自己。她也喜欢消防车和飞机。我的儿子会问各种问题,我喜欢回答。有一次,在幼儿园,他问我水是如何变成固体、液体和气体的。这一系列的问题导致了关于气压的讨论,最后谈到了缺氧和高原反应。所以对这个问题,男孩女孩没有谁更好。我爱的是他们的个性,而不是他们的性别。

 

Amber Woods, Volunteer at Elementary School and Elementary Schools (2016-present)

I've heard a lot of people say that raising a son is easier. But I think honestly they both have their pros and cons. When I have kids I want one of each. A girl because I can dress her up in adorable outfits. And a boy because then me and him could play catch or him and his father could play sports. I can also do that with a girl. But girls do tend to get more expensive.

So they both have their pros and cons. I don't think a parent whose has a son and daughter will tell you which is better. Maybe easier to raise. But not better.

我听很多人说养儿子比较省心。但说实话,我认为他们各有优缺点。对女孩,我可以给她穿上可爱的衣服。对男孩,我可以和他玩接球或他父亲可以跟他一起运动。但女孩子确实会更金贵些。

所以各有利弊。我不认为有儿子和女儿的父母会告诉你哪个更好。也许他们会说哪个孩子更容易抚养,但不会说谁更好。

 

Ana Maria Jones

I love little boys. No matter how cheeky. Or grubby. Or rowdy. I just love little boys. And little boy names.

Never wanted a daughter, my last child, was a girl. And i had no idea of a name.

But i got used to a baby girl. And grew to love Penny.

But if asked. Sons are awesome. Sons are wonderful. I guess I would say boys.

But Penny is a lovely young lady now.

我喜欢小男孩。无论多厚脸皮。多脏。多吵闹。我就是喜欢小男孩。

我的最小的孩子是个女孩。我不知道该叫她什么名字。

但我对这个小姑娘也习惯了,并爱上了佩妮。

但如果别人问我。我还是觉得儿子好。我想我会说是男孩。

但佩妮现在是个可爱的年轻女士了。

 

Ekta Sehra

Sir the child who makes you proud and happy is the better one. Daughter or son you can't choose but you can upbring them to be a better personality. Who will never hurt you. And you will always support them whenever they need it the most. No other person should be allowed to come into your dynamic. You will solve all your misunderstanding between yourselves only. Love them and confront them also when needed. This is what I think.

先生,能让你感到骄傲和快乐的孩子才更好。女儿还是儿子,你无法选择,但你可以把他们培养成一个更好的人。他永远不会伤害你。当他们最需要帮助的时候,你会一直支持他们。爱他们,必要时也要约束他们。我是这么想的。

 

Tim Riggins

According to Dennis Rainey the greatest honor is to raise a daughter. Mind you that he has three sons as well so that makes you wonder how his sons feel about that.

According to Alan Symth who My Prized Possession his daughter is his prized gift. He also has a son so I guess he did not make the cut.

It seems in American Christiandom your only important child is your daughter

根据Dennis Rainey的说法,最大的荣幸是能够抚养一个女儿。注意,他还有三个儿子,这让你很好奇他的儿子们是怎么想的。

Alan Symth说他女儿是他最珍贵的礼物。他还有一个儿子,所以我猜他没有入选。

在美国基督徒眼中,你唯一重要的孩子是你的女儿。

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